Issue #32: The Great American Checklist Audit

October 28, 2025

💌 From the Editor’s Desk

Welcome back to Work In Progmess, where our to-do lists are ambitious, our attention spans are short, and our pens are out of ink.

This Thursday, October 30th, is National Checklist Day. A sacred holiday where Americans celebrate their love of crossing off meaningless boxes while quietly ignoring the items that actually matter.

So grab your favorite pen and let’s check in on the country’s most productive form of procrastination.

— The Mess

📰Headline Shocker

AMERICA CELEBRATES NATIONAL CHECKLIST DAY BY ADDING “CELEBRATE NATIONAL CHECKLIST DAY” TO CHECKLISTS

Productivity levels reach record highs as citizens achieve absolutely nothing of value.

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Offices across the nation erupted in celebration Thursday morning as workers gathered to honor National Checklist Day, a holiday invented for those who believe progress only counts if it can be formatted with bullet points.

Corporate leaders encouraged teams to take the day seriously. “Checklists are the backbone of American productivity,” said one CEO while unchecking “listen to employees.” “Without them, how would we measure our ability to ignore the big picture?”

Reports from across the country describe people feverishly checking off tasks like “update checklist format” and “feel organized” before immediately adding “take a break for self-care” and marking it complete.

Meanwhile, productivity apps like Asana, ClickUp, and Trello reported record traffic, briefly crashing after thousands of users attempted to create lists titled “Fix my other lists.”

One local man, Derek, described the feeling of accomplishment after checking off “Make a checklist.” “It’s nice to feel like you’re winning,” he said. “Even if you don’t know at what.”

Experts predict that by the end of National Checklist Day, 87 percent of Americans will feel more in control of their lives, 12 percent will still be looking for their pen, and the remaining 1 percent will finally realize they have been living on autopilot since 2014.

🗂️ The Top 5 Most Checked (But Least Important) Tasks in America

Add “drink water” to checklist, ignore all day.
Update resume for a job you are not applying for.
Alphabetize the spice rack again, for “clarity.”
Spend 45 minutes making a checklist for a 10-minute task.
Cross off “make checklist” and declare yourself unstoppable.

🪑 From The Editor’s Desk

Checklists are useful. They help us remember groceries, organize projects, and feel like we’re getting somewhere. But sometimes we get so caught up in checking the boxes that we forget to look up and ask if they still point in the right direction.

Here’s the truth. A checklist can measure completion, but it can’t measure alignment. It can track what you did, but not why you’re doing it.

So before you check the next box, take a second to ask yourself: is this helping me build something that matters, or just keeping me busy enough to avoid asking the question?

📩Until Next Time…

Forward this to someone whose to-do list is longer than their lunch break. Then remind them that sometimes the most productive thing you can do is pause.

— The Progmess Editorial Team

🔗 Bitter End

Before you start another list, learn from a pro.

✈️ Watch “How Pilot Checklists Increase Productivity” by Captain Joe on YouTube.
He shows how pilots use checklists to stay focused and how you can too.

👉 Watch here

Because if pilots can remember every switch, you can remember to call your dentist.

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